My suspension is over, and my probation is over.  It has been exactly one year since my life got thrown into a total whirlpool.  Exactly one year has passed since I was a speed demon of a kid to a more matured adult.  I have grown emotionally, mentally, and physically while gaining more confidence, and a grip on my life.  This whole ordeal has truly been a blessing in disguise.  If I was to be asked to do it again, of course I would move out of the country, but I’m glad it happened to me and it has passed.  The people I have to thank for being with me every step of the way is my mom and dad.  I don’t care what people say; friends come and go, best friends stay a bit longer, but parents are your blood and will always be there for you.  If it weren’t for their understanding and their sympathy towards me and my obstacles, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Hehe, this whole year, I was planning on what to say in this day’s entry in my journal, but now that it’s actually here I can’t think of a single thing to say.  I would always play it in my mind thinking about how I would explain everything that’s happened to me, how much I’ve changed, and where my future is going to take me, but I don’t feel like I need to do that.  I created this journal to document my daily life so I could have a place to vent my frustrations since I couldn’t drive anymore, and now that I’m not on either suspension or probation, I have no frustration to vent.  It’s such a relaxing feeling to not only have gone through this, but to be able to say that I survived something of this magnitude.  It may seem like a petty impediment in your eyes, but a suspension/probation from driving in my world is like being in prison for a year for the rest of you.  I hadn’t been myself ever since the incident and still am not, but I’ve become someone better as a result of it. 

So it’s about time I’ve written in this thing again.  It’s Wednesday the 18^th of August, 2004.  I have one day shy of a week left before my license probation is up.  For those of you who know me and that care, I have gone through one hell of a year thanks to my obsession with driving.  It all started in July of 2003, when I got a letter from the Police Department that stated my license will be suspended as of August 24^th, 2003, and will not be reinstated until February 24^th, 2004.  After that, I will be on license probation till August 24^th, 2004.  If you look at the dates, I couldn’t touch a car for six months straight.  Here I was, had just gotten my car tuned and ready for flying, and I couldn’t touch it.  Imagine something you love to death, something you can’t live life without.  Now imagine that precious thing taken away from you because you loved it too much.  That’s my story in a nutshell.  The first six months, I got around by biking, because I was too prideful to get rides from anybody.  Anyways, long story short, it’s all finally coming to an end.  Less than a week separates me from shackles to total freedom.  I can drive during probation, but if I get one single ticket (moving violation), I get my license revoked for a year.  In one week, however, I can get a ticket, and I’ll be able to take traffic school to wipe it off =) 

My tournament is coming up in a month.  Las Vegas =)  I don’t know if you recall, but for the last tournament, I was notified 4 days prior to the competition that I was going to attend.  I trained like a fucking dog for those 4 days, and took first place in Men’s Black Belt Kata, and third in Men’s Black Belt Sparring.  Not too shabby for four days.  Since then, I’ve been training for Las Vegas, which is on September 25^th, 2004.  I plan on killing people.  My new girl is coming with me =)  I think this should be an interesting bonding experience, since it’s in the city of sin.  My family has just recently watched my fighting in tournaments, and they’re my fucking family.  I’ve been doing this shit since I was four years old, and I just recently let them see my stuff.  I’ve known this girl a total of one month, and I’m letting her come watch =)  she’s such a sweet girl, and I notice that more when we kick it.  Every one of my friends adores her, which I’ve never been used to since my ex-girlfriend was such a piece of shit.  Tomorrow, I’m meeting her parents, and for some reason, I’m more nervous than a Catholic Priest in a courtroom.  I usually do well with parents, but not when they know I want their daughter.  Persian parents to a Persian daughter have leashed fury that only comes out when guys around the same age as their daughter enters the household.  We’ll see what happens. 

So, I’ve looked at a few bikes in the past week, and I saw this Ducati that I would donate my left testical (my favorite one) to get it.  The price?  $24,000.  Of course, that’s just a few hundred dollars more than what I wanted to spend on a motorcycle (try a few thousand more).  So I looked around a little more, and I saw an older Ducati (1996), in my favorite color, for $7,000.  I was in love.  I would have gotten it right there, but then I remembered my car.  I thought about “how fast will it go?” rather than “what’s this thing gonna cost me?”  So I didn’t get it.  I saw a few more bikes, and now I’m stuck again between two bikes.  A year old Yamaha R1, or a Suzuki GSX-R 750 a year old.  The only reason I threw the Yamaha into the mix is because the price drops in half after a year, so the bike used is only $6,000!  Anyways, I’m so glad I haven’t bought my bike yet, because my mind is changing every day now.

I just looked at the calendar, and I have only 13 days left of my probation!  I’m so excited!  Hopefully I’ll be able to get rid of the car soon.  Oh yeah, total turn of events since the last time I wrote to you guys.  Ok, first off, I cannot wait to get rid of my baby.  Don’t get me wrong, I love her to death, but I realized that there is more potential to have fun on a motorcycle.  I went to a few dealerships again to check out my bike, and I met a crew of riders that have extra bikes lying around just to fuck with.  So I got their numbers, and have been riding again like crazy.  A fast car is great, but the feeling you get on a bike is incredible.  I already have a potential buyer looking at the car tomorrow.  I’m not hoping anything just because there is little to no chance the first looker is going to buy it.  I just hope soon it’ll be gone. 

Ok, Yaschar, the one who doesn’t ever settle with any girls, has finally settled with a girl =)  I finally have a girlfriend after fucking around for so many years.  I met her through a friend about two weeks ago, and we have not had a single day go by where we haven’t either called each other or seen each other.  She’s 26 years old, Persian, going to Pharmacy school, and is a total knock out.  We have such great times together!  Anyways, I just wanted to fill you guys in on what’s up. 

School started on Monday for me.  Interesting, but I absolutely love the subjects I’m studying.  We’ll see where this takes me. 

I haven’t been sleeping well at all lately, just because I get home late and wake up early all the time.  Usually weekends are where I catch up with my energy, but now I work only on weekends.  So I’m probably am going to have to hook up a Starbucks espresso I.V. to my arm while I either work or go to school.  This should be fun.  

Today was such a depressing day.  Actually, today was fine, but about an hour ago, I hit major depression.  I just submitted my car to Autotrader.com.  I literally started to cry when I was filling everything out.  I should be looking up to getting a bike, but the Z and I had so many memories with each other.  I become so sentimentally attached to my cars.  Each and every one of them has a special place in my heart and always will.  Hehe, it sounds like past relationships I’ve had =)  I mean, I remember picking her up, and she was so shiny and so black, I could see my own reflection in her.  I bought her in the wintertime, but I still took the top off to see what it felt like blasting through the streets topless.  My buddy followed me home when we went to go get the car, or more appropriately, he tried to follow me home.  It was so fast, and the fun had just begun with her.  I remember the first time I took her to a canyon road, on Ortega Highway south of Irvine.  40 miles of nothing but twists and turns with only a few inches of road on each side marking that fine line between complete euphoria and absolute fear or even death.  I really bonded with the Z at that point.  I remember all the times people walking on the sidewalk would snap their heads back to see what that noise was when the turbochargers blow-off valves would screech.  I purposely would slam the gas in public areas so people would wonder what the fuck it was that I was driving.  I remember everyone I had ever given a ride to and how sick they would get of either the speed, or the bumpy ride.  Working on this car was such a pain in the ass, but once I got it to run each time, it was like a heavenly rumble with evil accelerations.  Each time I fired up that motor, I literally got goose bumps electrifying every part of my body.  There truly is a passion between man and machine.  The top engineer of Porsche said it best, “The only inanimate object on earth that can invoke lifelike characteristics is an automobile.”  Such a true statement.  I really am in love with this car.  I just hope some moron doesn’t buy this car only to wrap it around a tree a week later.  Anyways, off to sob in a corner. 

I went on a date last night.  It was interesting as to how we met, because it’s been a while since a girl actually took the initiative with me.  My cousin called me after we hadn’t talked for months due to both of our busy schedules, and she told me she was flying to Vienna, Italy to live there for a month, and that she was flying the next morning.  So I told her that whatever she was doing, I didn’t care, and that I was going to see her before she flew off.  So I drove over there, and she was doing some last minute packing with her friends, one of which I thought was really cute.  Anyways, we hung out that night, went to get some drinks, got drunk, and then went to the beach.  So this girl I thought was really cute and I were so drunk, that we ran into the beach holding hands while everyone was laughing at us getting soaked in our clothes.  So we walked out, and I told her to ride with me since everyone else had BMW and Benzes and didn’t want to get their upholstery messed up by the beach water and sand.  So we rode together, had a blast, I turned the heater up fully, and I didn’t care at all that my car was going to smell like fish farts for months.  Anyways, right when I got home, I get a call from that girl telling me she had a good time and that she wanted to see me again.  I didn’t even give her my number!  Anyways, I told her that I would love to take her out to this bar that I know practically everyone that runs it from the bouncer to the owner.  We went there last night, had some drinks, and talked all night long for hours about everything.  It was so great because as I was driving over to pick her up, I had major butterflies in my stomach, and it got worse when I saw her in her sexy black dress.  Gorgeous honey colored eyes, long straight dark hair, beautiful legs, and a bust size that kept it hard to look only at her face.  We met at 8pm, and stayed together till 3:30am.  We never ran out of anything to say, it was amazing.  What I loved about her was that she passed “The Yaschar Test”.  We didn’t touch each other till the end of the night, where I kept her warm from the cold.  But to tell you the truth, I didn’t try that hard because I really respected what she had to say, and the person she was.  What I usually do is try to push for something sexual on the first time we meet, and if they give in, I lose respect for them.  If they don’t, well then that’s dating material.  This is the funny part…  she’s 26 years old, and I’m 22.  I totally dig this chick though, and the whole night, she kept saying how much I remind her of her own brother after she mentioned that the next person she dates has to have the same qualities as her brother.  Sounds sick, but she reminded me a lot of my mom and sisters, very strong women that know what they want, and know how to get it.  She was so talkative too!  There was never a dull moment, and never an awkward silence.  I was so comfortable with her the whole night.  Anyways, she called me today telling me what an amazing time she had last night =)  We’re gonna see each other Wednesday again.  I’m already digging her =)  It’s about time I saw someone seriously.  She’s tall, with dark hair, lightly tanned skin, fit body, and Iranian too =)  She’s breathtaking, but I feel so comfortable around her.  Usually with perfect girls, I can’t get more than a “Hello friend” out to them, but with her, I can be myself and she loves it.  We’ll see what happens. 

I took my car in for an oil change today, and my god, what a difference!  She was running like a thorough bred stallion all day today.  Hehe, and on one of the turns near my house, water drenched the street all the way around the turn.  For those of you that have rear-wheel drive cars, you know what I’m taking this =)  I left my car in first gear, went partial way around the turn, and slammed the gas causing the back end to swing around further out than the front of my car.  My buddy was following me while I did this, and he called and screamed in the phone saying, “HOLY SHIT!  That Was Great!!” 

Oh, the other day, my friend and I took our lunch at work, but we went to somewhere a little further than usual.  On the way back to work, we see this motorcycle rider going the same direction.  I noticed he had this bar in the back of his bike, but it was one used for stunts to stand your bike up on its back wheel.  I pointed that out to my buddy, and told him that if we look long enough, the biker would do something outrageous.  So we did just that, and the biker kept looking back to see if there were any cops around.  Once he felt comfortable, he slammed the throttle and propped himself on his back wheel doing a wheelie from half way through the block, till the light, where he put the front end of the bike down and slammed his brakes to bring his back end up now.  It was intense to see this in person =)  So after he did that, I looked to my buddy and said, “let’s get our bikes now!”  I can’t wait to get this damn thing.  I finally came to a decision.  I want a Suzuki GSX-R 750.  here are some pictures…

Anyways, gonna catch an episode of Nip Tuck, and then a little sleep action ;)